Easter

So in honor of Easter, I thought I'd take a few minutes away from the Easter Bunny and focus on what Easter is really about: Jelly Beans.

Just kidding.

Seriously though, I was thinking about what the Savior and His atonement means to me right now - this day - at this stage in my life. Of course I'm grateful for the general things that we usually talk about: that I can be forgiven for my mistakes and shortcomings; that I have the opportunity to try again and again that death will not separate me from my loved ones; that the Savior bore every burden and therefore knows perfectly how to comfort me.

But as a parent, I am grateful for the atonement in a specific way. Let me try to explain: When Andrea was just an infant, I began fretting over everything that I was doing, because I was sure that I was going to ruin her. Was I holding her so much that she was going to be spoiled? Was I not holding her enough to let her know that she was loved? Was I too strict? Was I too permissive? Was I patient enough? Was I doing a good job at keeping her healthy? Was she getting the nutrition she needed? What about the music I listened to when she was in the car with me? How were all these things going to affect her? The fact that I have a degree in psychology made things worse. In psychology we analyze every single behavior, and they teach us that the first three years in a child's life are the most important in developing a child's attitudes and personality. It was enough to drive me crazy with paranoia.

Eventually - and luckily before I went completely nuts - I had the realization that no matter what I did, I probably would mess up my child, at least a little bit. We all either learn or inherit things from our parents that are counter-productive, maladaptive, or unfortunate. Am I right?

But here is the good news - the important part of my "ah-ha!" moment: Part of why we are here on Earth is to overcome our weaknesses and our shortcomings...including those things that were learned or inflicted upon us by our parents. And the way we overcome these things is through the Atonement.

As a mother, this realization has allowed me to heave a sigh of relief and has let me feel like I can just do the best I can and not worry so much about the rest. I still want to do a good job of raising my children. I don't want to be the one contributing to my children's hardships in life. But there will be ways that I fall short, and it's okay, because the Savior is there to pick up the pieces and fill in the gaps for my children. And for that, I am grateful. Happy Easter everyone!

* These were the best shots I could get, okay, so don't judge me on Natalie's pink tennis shoes and her peanut butter and jelly sandwich face :)